Tag Archives: fashion

Irony and Wine.

15 Aug

Missing a friend is like giving up dairy. Your life goes on, it’s just way less…delicious. Over the last 4 months my life has been less delicious without my friend Nicole, the other half of Society Finch.  Nic has been in LA, and I, Toronto.  It’s been an unfortunately long separation, but last night we met in Toronto for a much-needed dinner date, pairing long overdue catching up with wine, laughter and sunshine!  Sounds like a good 80’s album, I know. After dinner we moved on to ‘tipsy shopping’ on Queen St. West. Unfortunately most of the shops were closed, but we managed to wander into an edgy little boutique  filled with ironic hipster clothing, at ironic hipster prices.  (Shocking.)

How is a half top 400 dollars? It’s only HALF a top!’

Our too cool for school sales girl, recommended we visit the “garage sale in the back room”.  Usually when offered a “back room” experience, I’d suggest checking the ‘No, thank you‘ box, but we were feeling wild and inspired!  Or mildly intoxicated… it’s a fine line.  The back room consisted of everything that ironic hipsters weren’t willing to wear, which is impressive because hipsters will pretty much wear anything…. ironically.

I’ll see a person walking the street in gold leggings, a Spider-Man T-shirt, huge glasses and a waxed mustache, and I honestly don’t know if they’re a hipster or mentally unwell. It’s a tough call sometimes.

I would love to be so confident in my coolness that I could leave the house in 80’s running shorts, a Fonz t-shirt and a fur coat, and feel that if you laughed at what I’m wearing, you’re the asshole.

Hipsters are emotionally untouchable! They are rubber and we are glue. Whatever we say bounces off them and sticks to us.

In the back room of this shop, Nic and I found hoodie dresses, ruffled leather mini shorts, and an off-the-shoulder t-shirt that said “peach cobbler.”  We stood in that back room and laughed our asses off . We also sneaked pictures of said clothes while the sales girl walked in and out of the room.

I’m sure she thought we were stealing. Not bloody likely!  In the end, we decided that if we HAD to buy something, we’d choose a couple of navy skull bikinis. Only because there was two of them so we could look like jackasses together.

The irony continued as we moved further west to the Drake Hotel, for a cocktail. The Drake is like The Mothership for hipsters.  One of our bartenders was inked from head to toe, with mostly comedically ironic tattoos. We were big fans.  Lionel Richie on his calf. Eyes wearing glasses on his forearm, so when he sleeps with his arm over his eyes he looks awake. And our favorite, a small tattoo on his collarbone that simply said, “Tough Crowd.”  Thankfully he never had to pull aside his shirt collar, exposing his true feelings regarding our company, because after cocktails and a mystery shot, we were ironically crowd-pleasing.

Dessert Storm.

18 Jul

I was at a bit of a loss this week as to what to write about, so I asked my husband for suggestions. He said “What made you mad this week? You always write best when you’re angry.” True.

So this week, the thing that really made me mad, the thing that really toasted my oats was… bad dessert! Dessert is the last memory of a meal.  It’s the “big finish” at the end of a tap routine, the white ribbon holding together a Tiffany’s box, the sequin visor on a leathery Palm Beach senior citizens.  Dessert should make a statement.  You see, I was at a lovely dinner, in a beautiful restaurant. I was with great friends and I was wearing a pink ruffled dress!

Everything was perfect until the prix fixe dessert arrived….”Spiced Yogurt with Ontario Strawberries.” Or as I may have called it at the time, “Spiced bullshit with Pedestrian Fruit.” (I had a little wine with dinner and was feeling verbally expressive.) YOGURT AND FRUIT is what I EAT FOR BREAKFAST!!!  Why not serve me Toasted Bread Shards with Crushed Butter of Peanut? Or what about Roasted Flakes of Corn soaked in an Artisanal Dairy By-Product?  You served me breakfast for dessert Restaurant-that-shall-go-unnamed-in-this-article!  Now you must feel my wrath!!!

At the end of a meal, I want something that will make me feel naughty! I want to feel like the calorie police might rush in and stay “Stop in the name of your waistline!” I want to look at the menu and look at my dinner partner and say,“I really shouldn’t… wanna share?  Two spoons?” And then you do it! You hear yourself say, “We’d like to share the Baked Alaska….

Ain’t life beautiful?

As my friend Sean Cullen says in his stand-up act, “What separates humans from other animals is dessert. You won’t hear a lion say after it’s eaten a gazelle “What I’d love now is a smaller, sweeter gazelle.”  Too true Sean, and I’m pretty sure a lion would also not request “Spiced Yogurt with Ontario Strawberries.”One of our Society Finch readers, Tracey, is a master when it comes to sweets. She passed along a few of her tips for great baking:

-Use real ingredients, real flavors, and use butter not shortening…yuk!
-Use natural ingredients to color your icing like orange juice, strawberries, peanut butter or coco.
-Be sure to measure accurately, baking is chemistry!
-A good mixer makes all the difference. “I love my KitchenAid Mixer” she says.

Here’s a few pics of Tracey’s masterpieces. She sells her goodies at the Truro Farmer’s Market in Truro Nova Scotia.

Bake something sinful this week, serve it for dessert, and give someone you love a happy ending….not the dirty kind…well that’s up to you. xo

What Your Shades Say About You.

11 Jul


I was getting ready to head to an event this past week, when I found myself in a bit of… snag.  A wardrobe crisis I hadn’t quite anticipated. I was going to be meeting a lot of new people, and LA can be a really superficial city, so I needed to be sure I was putting my best superficial foot forward. I needed my arrival to scream ‘Classic! Bold! Someone get this woman a martini and a canape stat!’ I contemplated a Gaga-esque latex womb but realized it was currently at the dry cleaners.  So there I was, I had the dress, the shoes, the clutch and a little extra swagger in my back pocket. Hair done,  nails fresh, and I had managed to successfully apply false lashes without gluing my eyes shut! You have no idea how awful it is to spend the entire evening “winking!” So I was right on schedule! Then I went to grab my sunglasses…

I used to think that wearing sunglasses said to the world, “It’s bright outside!,” or “My eyes are sensitive.” Wrong! I’ve been schooled people!  In actuality, sunglasses are visual code to be used by other humans to inform each other on things like  hip factor, financial status, political standing, and lifestyle choices. They’re the logo t-shirts of the 90’s. I stood over my collection of eye wear, here are some of my different persona’s.

The Wayfarer  (origin unknown, probably $5)

The everyday hipster go to.  The wayfarer says you ride a fixie, bring your own bags to the grocery store, got most of your clothing second-hand, and were obsessed with the album ‘Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix’ in 2009.  Your life is generally ironic and if you’re a female you’ve either had, or seriously considered an undercut, and as a man, you’ve  definitely used ‘Movember’ as an excuse to live out your dreams of being the proud owner of a filthy mustache.  World Peace!

The ‘I Wear My Sunglasses at Night’  (Dior, $you don’t wanna know)

What, you don’t know who I am?  I’m kind of a big deal.”  Well my sunglasses are anyway…..You are a person who spent too much money on your glasses.  These babies say ‘ I bought these to wear inside the club, while I fist pump.’  Unless you’re attempting to join the cast of Jersey Shore, save your money.

The Round Done Right  (TOMS, $135)

These shades say you’re fun, chic, and full of whimsy! However under no circumstances should you wear these with a burgundy velour track suit… then you’re just sad, trashy, and full of shit. True story.  Colored shades with large lenses make you more ‘available’ and less… ‘recluse.’  They say you love florals, bike rides, and drinking expensive champagne… even if it’s out of a red plastic cup!

The Bug Eye  (found them in my car, $I hope they weren’t over 5 bucks)

Honey, you’re not hiding from anyone.  We all know your secret.  These shades are code for, ‘I’m not a big fan of….my own face.  If you’ll notice, these opaque monsters cover up half the face, leaving the general appearance of one’s visage, to the imagination.  Do you have pink eye?  Have you recently had a bad brow lift? Or the worst…are you one of the Olsen twins?  May I suggest a Zoro mask, or outrageously long fringe if face hiding is your goal.

Classic Cat-Eye   (Anthropologie, $25)

They say Audrey.  They say Grace.  They say you’re delicate and balletic, but you’re probably wearing black lace panties under those perfectly pressed, skinnies.  On your coffee table you have a copy of  V Magazine for the cover photo, and Vanity Fair for the articles in the back.  You’ll drink red wine before noon, and most likely own a piece of vintage fur.

Phew… just what I needed, red wine before noon!  Oh, and some killer shades for the ‘ol lookers.

The Pants that Broke the Camel’s Back

20 Jun

It started with a simple sentence last Monday night. Me to my husband…

Me- I need some new pants.
He- Oh honey I just wrote a cheque for our taxes today…
Me- I need pants.
He- Honey, I just don’t think today is the day to talk about buying…

And then I LOST IT!!!! Like a two-year old being told no in Toys R Us. I had a hissy fit. I dropped F-bombs. I spazzed out….. big time!

“I used to be stylish!” I screamed.
“Do you know how long it’s been since I had a facial?”
“I haven’t had a bikini wax since 2009! It’s like 1975 down there!”

Like a man talking down an angry monkey, my husband very softly said “Honey you can get some pants. It’s just that we’re trying to buy a house this year and we really need to stick to a budget. In our weekly allowances we’ll put some money aside so we can get clothes.”

“So WE can get clothes?” I replied. “I need more money than you! Unless you want me to start looking like a dude I simply need more money!”

What I was trying to say was that men don’t realize how much money it costs us ladies to “keep it together.” Saying to my husband that I was going to start “looking like a dude” if he didn’t fork over some cash, seemed to only confuse and greatly concern him.  But it worked!

By the end of the conversation we both agreed that I was a raving lunatic. BUT a raving lunatic that was allowed to go shopping!

When I went to the shops, I decided to do something a little different. I DIDN’T start at the sales rack in the back. Anyone else like me? Any other “back of the store shoppers” out there? I started at the front of the store like a regular person! So liberating! I tried things on …just because I liked them, and not because they were on sale! I have been a victim of the “sales rack” lifestyle for many many years. It’s not to say you can’t find great things on sale but let’s be honest, a lot of things are discounted because they are weird-looking or ill-fitting.

I enjoyed and appreciated every minute of my shopping adventure and came home with what I like to call “Five Easy Pieces.” Here they are as an ensemble…

Individually they are:

Deena and Ozzy handbag (big enough to fit my Mac Book) bought at Urban Outfitters $39.99

A.J Morgan Sunglasses bought at Anthropologie $29.99

Staring at Stars loose cotton shirt bought at Urban Outfitters $59.99

1969 Men’s Chino’s (that’s right they’re boy pants!) bought at The Gap $24.99

Cooperative cropped jacket bought at Urban Outfitters $79.99

*Check out our Flickr page to see Jenn’s fabulous finds up close and personal!  (ok… not exactly personal, but you get the idea.)

What To Wear

25 Apr

Whether you’re soaking in the spring sunshine, or just plain soaking from those chilly April showers, its time for a wardrobe change!  Spring/Summer 2011 is upon us friends, and we want to talk  fashion!  Here are our top five favorite trends for this upcoming season.

1) That 70’s Girl

LOVING this one!  High-waisted trousers, longer blazers, maxi skirts, platforms, jumpsuits, crop tops…  ok, so maybe I’m not loving all of it.  Crop tops, really? We’re going there again?  Sure they look cute on a sixteen year old model, but I ate a bowl of rice pasta last night.  My crop top window has officially closed and I have no regrets!  Me and my mid-drift prefer to side with a pair of high waisted, wide leg trouser jeans.  Far more flattering for those of us of legal voting age.  As for this 70’s trend, make it boho or chic, but whatever you do… make sure to give it a modern twist!

2) Sheer & Lace

Anyone that knows me, knows I am 100% committed to this trend!  In the past  I’ve taken this to the extreme, and maybe even once (…or twice) shown up to a party a little less than appropriate.  But I don’t care!  I love it!  Add a little sheer or lace and give your non-transparent wardrobe a kick in the pants. Just remember that a little goes a long way and just because American Apparel makes a full length lace bodysuit, doesn’t mean it’s OK to wear it in public.  And choose your lace wisely.  The goal here is to add mystery rather than remind your friends of their grandmother’s table cloth.

3) Pretty in Pastels

Pale pink, icey blue, acid yellow, and aquamarine… If you’re going for ‘pretty’ this spring/summer, these soft hues are serious staples.

Tip: For your own safety keep your pastels to a minimum, or you may find your running for your life from a group of angry children, confusing you with a giant Easter egg with limbs.

4) Notice Patterns

Let’s make this quick and easy, go big, go bold, go wild!  You really can’t go wrong here.  Well… that may not be entirely true.  It can be easy to mess up when there’s so many amazing florals, and chic animal prints available.  Pick one print and make a statement!  Those who are truly gifted can mix patterns but this is a feat for fashion Jedi’s only! (FYI combining an animal print with a 70’s inspired jumpsuit… not ok.)

5) Short Cuts

Emma Watson, Cate Blanchett, Michelle Williams and Keira Knightley all did it, who will be next? Going short seems to be the way to go this season, and it looks like our very own Society Fincher, Jenn, is leading the way with this trend. All hair lengths were seen sweeping the runways for S/S 2011, but with dramatic side parts and a little extra length on top maintaining femininity, the punky short cut stood out among the rest.  (Just like our Jenn!)

A Hair Piece

18 Apr
Destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.This week I suffered from bad hair Karma. For those of you who have been following Society Finch from the beginning, you’ll recall that our very first blog was about all the zany things Nic and I had done to our hair in order to achieve “just the right blonde.” Oh, how we laughed about all the stuff we had put our hair through! Oh, the hilarity! Oh, the good times!

This week… the good times stopped.My colorist Ava applied the SAME color she’d been using for 4 months, and then took me to the sink to wash the color out. Ava suddenly looked pale and excused herself to go have a cigarette out back.  She returned from the alley smelling smoky but composed, to tell me that something had gone terribly wrong.  “It appears that your hair is so damaged that it did not absorb all of the color. (Pause) In fact, it seems that the only color that your hair absorbed is green.” Yup, green.  As in boogers, Kermit, and 97% of the vomit on St. Patrick’s Day.

Let me interject by saying my ancestry is British, which means no matter how upsetting something is, we don’t like to express emotion or react in public. In fact, when my great uncle was asked how he dealt with his city of Newcastle Upon Tyne being constantly bombed during WWII, he replied, “We muddled through it.”So, upon hearing the alarming news of my green hair, I simply said, “Well, this is unexpected.” I then learned much of my hair would need to be cut off and my hair would need to be red. No other color options.  Apparently, the only color that covers green is red, end of story.  I arrived a blonde getting her roots done, and left the salon with short red hair. I got into the car and called my husband, told him I was on my way home and that “things had gone a bit weird.”  “Weird how?” he asked.  I then informed him that I looked okay but I looked a bit like a young schoolboy. On the upside, it turns it out my husband is quite fond of young schoolboys. Nothing creepy, he’s just fond of their musical stylings. You know: Justin Beiber, boy’s choirs, Menudo, that sort of thing.

So change was forced upon me this week, and after a short (Get it?) adjustment period, I am happy with my new hair. With hair, like in life, if you muck about and can’t decide what you want, a decision will be made FOR you. So if you want to be master of your own hair destiny, treat your hair kindly, lest something unexpected happens to your hair and you find yourself having to “muddle through it.”Gotta go, I hear Menudo playing in the other room and my husband wants me to try on short pants and a blazer.
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