Archive | November, 2011


22 Nov
I always fancied myself a maker of things.  But if I am totally honest I’m more of a buyer of things that other people have carefully made. You feel me?  We bought these three little box shelves from Target…six months ago and they have been sitting in the closet ever since. Then last week I was shopping at one of my favorite shops in LA Maison Midi and I found this wrapping paper.
I have always loved turquoise and red together and I especially love that the owl seems very angry.  So I bought the paper and said to myself “I’m going to make this the backing of those green shelves, I will put them up in my daughters room, and they will be adorable!”

So last night I set my Phazers to “craft.” First things first, open tiny bottle of champagne from baby shower goody bag, check.

Take 3 sips of champagne and begin to think this out….

I placed the shelves on the paper and traced around them. Logical. I cut out the squares, and rewarded myself with a few more sips of champagne.

Shmeared glue on the back and place paper on the backs of the shelves.The glue needed to dry thoroughly so I drank the rest of the mini champagne bottle while watching “Boardwalk Empire” with the hubby. As I drifted to sleep I imagined how cute those shelves were going to be in her room.

Cut to next day: Husband is out grocery shopping, baby is out with the sitter. I begin to hang the shelves.

First shelf goes well. Shelf two… things go horribly wrong. As I begin to hammer in the second screw the wall gets a bit crumbly. So I take out a wall plug and hammer, twice. The plug goes through the wall and falls down inside the wall. I am left with a GIANT hole. Put duct tape over and try again…fyi duct tape does not fix everything. “Piece of shit!!!” I scream. “Son of a whore!” I yell to know one in particular.

How will I mount this? I try a nail but the wall just crumbles more.

Think Robertson THINK!
I put a nail underneath to support it and with one side functional and some help from below, it actually works! The third tiny shelf goes up without a problem and for a moment I am proud of my accomplishment. Sure an engineer would scoff at my work but a one and a half year old won’t know the difference and this is the first crafty thing I have done since I became a mom! So there!

Getting In The Mood

14 Nov

Furs, black patent pumps, full-bodied reds, something smooth on the radio and spicy on my plate.  Holiday season, I’m all yours!  (You totally thought I was going somewhere else didn’t you… Lot of growing up to do.)

This will be my second Christmas here in Los Angeles, and to be honest there’s not a lot I miss from Toronto winters.  Friends and family back home ask;

“Does it even feel like Christmas?”  “Don’t you miss the snow?”

Let me pause a moment and consider my answer while I sip this chardonnay on a patio while wearing a light blazer and sunglasses…

Nope.  Definitely doesn’t feel like Christmas.  All the trees, lights and music actually put me in the Easter spirit.  I was genuinely confused when I saw Santa at the mall.  I called him a fake, ripped off his beard, pushed him into an Ed Hardy sales clerk and told him to put on his bunny costume.  I may have gotten arrested by a mall cop.

As for the snow,  I don’t do cold.  I have horrible circulation that leaves me with pale-ass skin and frigid appendages.  I can’t even touch small animals or infants after September without the risk of frostbite.   I don’t look good in hats, I hate the fact that hands are completely useless while wearing mittens, and my idea of a ski trip involves a hot tub, massage and a glass of merlot. Most winter mornings, I wake up and consider death a more pleasurable experience than facing another day that measures anywhere near freezing.  And once we hit below freezing on the ol’ thermostat, I’m pretty sure my soul leaves my body in attempts to hurl itself in front of oncoming traffic.

Winter comes – I die inside.

Needless to say, adjusting to winter in California has been life-changing.  I don’t need Seasonal Depression Disorder to get me in the mood.  I need to hear carols sung by crooners, to drink wine before noon, and light candles while making breakfast.  I need to wear fur to dinner, paint my nails black and do copious amounts of baking, adding cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves to absolutely everything.  May the celebration begin!   Nothing wrong with a personal sized apple crisp and glass of red wine for dinner.  Yes, for dinner.  Very satisfying.

Apple Crisp

4 medium apples, sliced
3/4c  brown sugar
1/2c.  flour (I use half rice flour, half sorghum flour to keep it GF)
1/2c. quick-cooking or old-fashioned oats (GF oats available)
1/3c. butter or dairy free alternative
3/4tsp.  ground cinnamon
3/4tsp.  ground nutmeg
1/4tsp. cloves

Heat oven to 375ºF. Grease bottom and sides of 8-inch pan. Arrange apples on bottom of pan. In medium bowl, stir remaining ingredients until well mixed. Sprinkle over apples. Bake about 30 minutes or until topping is golden brown and apples are tender when pierced with a fork.

Easy Peasy!

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