Dessert Storm.

18 Jul

I was at a bit of a loss this week as to what to write about, so I asked my husband for suggestions. He said “What made you mad this week? You always write best when you’re angry.” True.

So this week, the thing that really made me mad, the thing that really toasted my oats was… bad dessert! Dessert is the last memory of a meal.  It’s the “big finish” at the end of a tap routine, the white ribbon holding together a Tiffany’s box, the sequin visor on a leathery Palm Beach senior citizens.  Dessert should make a statement.  You see, I was at a lovely dinner, in a beautiful restaurant. I was with great friends and I was wearing a pink ruffled dress!

Everything was perfect until the prix fixe dessert arrived….”Spiced Yogurt with Ontario Strawberries.” Or as I may have called it at the time, “Spiced bullshit with Pedestrian Fruit.” (I had a little wine with dinner and was feeling verbally expressive.) YOGURT AND FRUIT is what I EAT FOR BREAKFAST!!!  Why not serve me Toasted Bread Shards with Crushed Butter of Peanut? Or what about Roasted Flakes of Corn soaked in an Artisanal Dairy By-Product?  You served me breakfast for dessert Restaurant-that-shall-go-unnamed-in-this-article!  Now you must feel my wrath!!!

At the end of a meal, I want something that will make me feel naughty! I want to feel like the calorie police might rush in and stay “Stop in the name of your waistline!” I want to look at the menu and look at my dinner partner and say,“I really shouldn’t… wanna share?  Two spoons?” And then you do it! You hear yourself say, “We’d like to share the Baked Alaska….

Ain’t life beautiful?

As my friend Sean Cullen says in his stand-up act, “What separates humans from other animals is dessert. You won’t hear a lion say after it’s eaten a gazelle “What I’d love now is a smaller, sweeter gazelle.”  Too true Sean, and I’m pretty sure a lion would also not request “Spiced Yogurt with Ontario Strawberries.”One of our Society Finch readers, Tracey, is a master when it comes to sweets. She passed along a few of her tips for great baking:

-Use real ingredients, real flavors, and use butter not shortening…yuk!
-Use natural ingredients to color your icing like orange juice, strawberries, peanut butter or coco.
-Be sure to measure accurately, baking is chemistry!
-A good mixer makes all the difference. “I love my KitchenAid Mixer” she says.

Here’s a few pics of Tracey’s masterpieces. She sells her goodies at the Truro Farmer’s Market in Truro Nova Scotia.

Bake something sinful this week, serve it for dessert, and give someone you love a happy ending….not the dirty kind…well that’s up to you. xo

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