Pizza Face.

12 Apr
As a gluten and diary sensitive humanoid there are many things that I really should not consume. Cheese and bread being some very basic examples, and then… there’s pizza (heavy, sad sigh) which is essentially bread covered in cheese. For the GF/DF (gluten free/dairy free) individual, pizza is what they call “the perfect storm.” Pizza is everything we shouldn’t eat wrapped and delivered to your door in a beautiful cardboard box.
Last week on Friday April 8, at 7pm Pacific Standard Time, I ate pizza. Not just one slice, four slices because no body ever eats just one slice of pizza.
In my defense it was moving week. Oh the joys of moving! And when I say “joys” I mean the waves of despair that wash over you slowly convincing you that owning anything that weighs over 5 pounds is just an unacceptable life style choice.
My husband was out of town, and without the good council of my other half I did crazy things!  I carried a sofa in two parts up a huge flight of stairs by myself.  That’s right, by myself fools!  I also used a rented Rug Doctor upholstery and carpet cleaner and attempeted to use the upholstrey cleaning products on both the sofa AND carpet.  I should not have used upholstrey cleaner on carpets.  The foam was everywhere fools! I’m not sure why I have started writing in the voice of Mr. T but I think it really speaks to my emotional state last week, which brings me back to why I ate pizza….
I was tired, I was hungry and my lower lumbar region was killing me! So I ate the pizza. I deserved the pizza! But then the pizza started attacking me slowly from inside. A a side cramp here, a nervous fart there, and finally an explosive rash/breakout on my stomach and face!!!  Not since my teens had I seen something this horrific!
Now I don’t have a time machine… yet, but if I did I would go back in time and make a gluten free roasted vegetable and goat cheese pizza.  And it would go a little something like this…..

I use Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free Pizza Dough.  It’s AMAZING!!!!!!  Just add yeast, water, eggs and oil and voila!  I’ve fed this pizza dough to many gluten and dairy devouring friends, and they’re none the wiser.  For best results, I bake mine on a Pampered Chef Pizza Stone dusted with corn meal.  This will give your pizza a nice even crust.  It’s topped with home-made tomato sauce, sautéed garlic, onions, spinach and mushrooms, and artichokes.   If you can digest small amounts of goats milk like me,  crumble a little goat cheese on top and finish things off with some fresh cracked pepper!

We all fall off our eating regimes sometimes and eat something that doesn’t do a body good.  It’s our commitment to eating the RIGHT things more than the wrong things that keep us healthy.  In the words of myself, and Mr. T  “I pity the fool who don’t respect their digestive tracts!”
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