Starting tonight at 8pm, I Jenn Robertson, will NOT be using Facebook for 7 days. Yes, that’s an entire week, people. It’s not because I’m worried about security, or sad that I FB people instead of calling them on the phone. No, I want to see how many hours of my life I can get back this week, by not scrolling through my home page, looking at random pictures of people’s cottages, babies, or babies at cottages.
I figure I waste at least 3 hours a week on Facebook. Allow me clarify that when I say “waste,” I mean aimless wandering in a bumbling, social media induced fog. Basically the online equivalent to 12 year old boys, throwing dirt balls. What I am doing, serves no purpose other than to waste time, and destroy brain cells. As a mother, I don’t have the time I used to, to just F around. Seriously, I barely have time to play Angry Birds.
Most of my wasted FB time is spent judging other people’s status. Why do I do that? This is Facebook not the New Yorker Magazine. People should be able to post their feelings without having to be witty or profound. OR SHOULD THEY?
Should I have had to endure this status?
“I just cut my nails. They were getting really long. Now I feel awesome!”
No I shouldn’t have. And I certainly shouldn’t have wasted another 2 minutes of my life reading the 10, count them 10, comments that followed.
How long were they?
I love cutting my nails!
Good for you!
I hope they’re not too short. I hate it when I cut them too short
I have a hangnail right now!
Hangnails are the worst!
Try putting olive oil on them.
I will thanks for the tip!
Initially I was angry at these people for wasting 3 min of my life, on the most banal conversation of all time. Then the anger turned on myself, as I realized I chose to read that!
OMG I cannot believe that people just “popped a boner” about some dude cutting his nails. WTF!
How long were they?
Why is that even relevant?
Don’t be curious about how long some guy’s nails are! Be curious about why there is so much injustice in the world! Be curious about what the we’re going to do when we run out of oil! Also, I don’t even think his nails were that long.
So tonight I begin my 7 days of no FB. Light a candle everyday and think of me. I’ll be journaling my feelings, listing withdrawal symptoms, and noting all the things I’m doing ’cause I’m not on Facebook. Nic will be playing the role of enabler by sending me texts every hour, detailing only those FB updates of great importance. Like when your cousin posts “My hamster just did the funniest thing ever!” Funniest thing ever? I doubt it, cousin Melanie. Talk to you next week!